Philly Coaches Chime in on Philadelphia Phillies’ Closer Situation

While most cities would be happy about the Philadelphia Phillies’ march toward their third straight National League Eastern Division Championship, the fans of this city have one thing foremost in their mind.

Get rid of *^&*^(^%(^(*^)*&^ Brad Lidge as the closer of this Philles baseball team.

To get a pulse of the guys who are in he midst of Philly sports, past and present, this Bleacher Report writer imagined a query of the area coaches on whether they would continue to use Brad Lidge as the closer of the Phillies.

Eagles football head coach Andy Reid: “Uh, hmm, the injury report. Donovan McNabb has a fractured rib and is doubtful, Brian Westbrook continues to make progress with his ankle injury and is probable, while DeSean Jackson’s injured groin makes him questionable for Sunday’s game. Time’s yours …”

Flyers’ head coach John Stevens: “Brad Lidge may be between the pipes, we will have to see how he progresses at practice today. Brad may or may not be our goalie, um, closer, while Ryan (Madson) has been real good in practice and is ready to step in.”

The Sixers’ head coach Eddie Jordan is new in town, so a call was placed to the former Sixers’ head coach, last seen in Charlotte, NC: “Um, Allen was not in practice today, so I don’t know if he will play or not. Oh, he’s not? Stratch that. Oh, baseball? Brad Hedge is a fine young man, but I don’t know if he can play basketball …”

Former Eagles coach Dick Vermeil: “Boooo, hoo, hoo, excuse me, let me compose myself, sniff, sniff …”

Former Phillies manager Dallas Green: “That pitcher is throwing up chicken sh** and he pitching like it, too. I will address him myself. When I’m good and ready, I will let you know if he’s ever gonna pick up a baseball for this team again.”

Former Temple University basketball coach John Cheney was more direct when asked about the closer: “I’ll kill him, I wanna kill him …”

Coach Vermeil: “Oh, boo, hoo, hoo. Wait a minute … Boo, hoo …”

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel was unavailable for comments, but did offer this: “Wait a minute, I’m looking up closers in the Yellow Pages …”

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